What I wish I could say. Braden. I am so happy you found a girl you can be adorably handsome and sweet to. I Am flattered you apperiate my company so much you wish to be friends. Truly you are a wonderful man who has made me smile and laugh taught me so much.... I trust you. I have kept my promise with you to be honest. Therefore. I must tell you the truth. I can not deal with you at the moment. I want to be alone now. My heart is aching and I can't sleep. Stupid me believed you when you called me baby and said I was beautiful to you. -_- my heart has made attachments in the 8 months I have known you. We haven't even had more than 2 days without talking to you. So now I want to be alone. I have a vacation to go on and 2 tests and an exam. After that I will be able to handle being your friend. I want to be able to ask about your new female without my heart cringing in pain.
Also. I am angry with you. Why did you lie to me. You could of told me. Telling me you got "extra hours" is unacceptable. If I had found my dream man all tall yummy with pretty eyes I would of fucking told you so you could deal with that. Leading me on. Unacceptable I recall last fucking week when I said "I can't wait to see your face again" you could of said "eh no I met this girl and I'm going to take her on a date or fuck her whatever happened we cool cause I value your friendship." in the end that is why I am awake so fucking early..... Come on when I met you you told me about having sex with your ex and that didn't much bother me at the time.
I am glad you gave me a short confidence boost. I will miss talking with you on Skype. When you promised to always be there for me even if stuff happened (remember it wasn't that long after meeting you you made that promise to me) I hope you will keep that promise. I need friends and I value what you say. Please don't give up on me just because I'm upset and hurt it will pass.
What I will actually say tomorrow in a MSG since I can't tell you face to face.
Hey Braden. I want to be alone for a little while. I will go on vacation and then take my exam. If you really super need someone to text feel free but I would rather be alone for a little bit.
No lying but editted. Im going to try to slep maybe typing this will ease the gaping hole eating my chest.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.